Dear Stacy and Clinton,

I need your help. I am going back to work from maternity leave in three months and I have NO work clothes. Literally, nothing. Well, potentially one suit might still work. You see, I’ve just lost a significant amount of weight, going from a size 18 to a 10. We are now past the point of being able to tailor my old clothes, as it will be more money to take them in than it will be to purchase new pieces. I need to go shopping, but an entire work wardrobe is a monumental task and my husband (Mr. Awesome) may or may not be up to the task.

I watch What Not to Wear religiously, repeats and all. Probably a little too much, to be honest, given that I can quote most of your rules by heart. Now, I think I follow the rules. But from what I can tell, most of the people on your show have NO idea they’re doing things wrong. What if I am one of these desperate souls that is walking around in her life looking schlumpy or inappropriate? How would I even know? You always say that people compliment people on their appearance when they have nothing else to say. I think everyone does this at some point, so how can anyone ever be sure that they look okay, let alone fabulous?!

Like I said, I think I follow the rules. The few items I have purchased during my weight loss journey have been pretty casual given that I’m on maternity leave and “weekend mom” is my life right now. The jeans I have purchased have been a “uniform dark wash.” The jersey cotton dresses I’ve been wearing this summer have “empire seaming” and “highlight the narrowest part of me.” I think this is pretty impressive given that basically everything I wear these days has been purchased at Costco. Yes, Costco. I’ve been dropping weight pretty steadily since December and we can’t afford to keep me clothed in a new size every month for more than $20 per item (max)! I’m also dredging up items from around 2002, the last time I was close to this size. So we’re faced with dated items, baggy items, or Costco items. This is my life.

A little more about my life and less about my clothes…

  • I am 34.
  • I live in Vancouver, British Columbia (do you guys even accept Canadian submissions anymore?)
  • I am married to “Mr. Awesome.” (A name he gave himself for my blog. He usually deserves it.)
  • I have two fantastic children – a three year old son and a nine month old daughter.
  • I work for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. It is awesome and a fantastic reason to go to work every day.

Mr. Awesome and I have a trip to Napa and San Francisco planned before I return to work in October. Besides being some much needed “us” time to hang out and drink yummy wine, this trip is also partly to go shopping for a work wardrobe. This will take time and money. Mr. Awesome is patient, but he’s not that patient. And let’s just say he’s…thrifty. (This is part explains my Costco wardrobe.) To keep things hunky-dory on our romantic little getaway, my shopping needs to be focused, efficient and budget-conscious. I also need to come home with enough items to create at least two weeks’ worth of outfits… this may be a bit much to ask with all the wine tastings getting in the way.

I need your help. My pre-weight loss wardrobe was a bunch of individual pieces, usually paired with the same pair of black pants. I have never shopped in outfits. I can’t afford to make mistakes here, as I’m only going to be able to do this once. I am submitting myself for your show, your guidance, your rules.

I agree to give myself over to you, mind, body and wardrobe. The wardrobe in question is pretty small as I’ve donated most of my larger clothes already, but I will hand over what I’ve got!

I will wait patiently in my Costco jeans for your call.