We have an emergency, people. The little man’s best buddy is missing. This is a major catastrophe.

He was last seen in the hallway and/or bathroom, depending on which witness you interview. There was some discussion of him going to the laundry to get rid of some incriminating stains, but when the laundry was searched he was nowhere in sight and there was no evidence he had been there recently. Not even the one magic hair that is always discovered on crime shows leading right to the person of interest.

I have looked everywhere. In every drawer, in every closet, in every kitchen cabinet. I have done four loads of laundry since the “Leo needs a bath” conversation and he wasn’t in any of them. I have checked the van, as Leo sometimes accompanies us for car rides.

It’s driving me nuts.* I seriously can’t find him and there aren’t THAT many places in our house that he could be. We live in a one-level house and it’s fairly open. Not that many nooks and crannies for a floppy knit lion creature to fit in. Where the hell is he?!

The little man is usually pretty good when Leo has to take a bath because he’s had pee/vomit/poop/food on him, and goes to bed without much complaint. We never wanted him to become SO attached that he couldn’t sleep without him, and it’s never been an issue. Except, of course, for when Leo is now actually missing. Last night he knew Leo wasn’t in the bath, and wouldn’t accept any other explanation. He just wanted his buddy. My heart broke for him. He finally fell asleep surrounded by three other stuffed animals that were weak substitutes at best but seemed to do the trick.

I know he’ll turn up eventually, and the little man will likely move on before I do, but every now and then he pauses whatever he’s doing to look at me and say sadly “Mummy, I want E-O.” At that moment I forget all about the pooping, peeing, whining, sister-hitting monster that I’ve been living with for the past year and all I want to do is find that damn lion and make my little man feel better.

So if anyone out there sees a green floppy lion wandering the streets, please let me know. It’s been unusually hot and we have had the windows open so he may very well have escaped. It’s the only reasonable explanation for where he could be, because he is NOWHERE in this house.

But maybe I’ll just go look one more time…


* Whenever I say “It’s driving me nuts” I hear Mr. Awesome say “YAR!” in a pirate voice. This is because he loves a joke about a pirate who goes into a doctor’s office with a steering wheel on his penis and when asked what the problem is he answers… well, you can finish that punchline for yourselves.
Just one more reason why Mr. Awesome is truly awesome.