When we designed our ensuite bathroom a couple of years ago, I had a beautiful and peaceful place in mind. The paint, the tiles, the heated floor – it all came together nicely. If I had known I would be spending quite this much time in there, I would have installed a TV.

Don’t be rude, let me explain.

Our darling almost 3yr old son is in a very whiny phase right now. Made worse by the fact he is sick and hasn’t been out of the house for a week, he has taken to climbing into our bed in the mornings and starting to whine and/or cry for something the second we say anything. It could be juice, milk, Cheerios, a movie he wants to watch, but he needs it NOW.

We are trying very hard to be good, firm parents, teaching him that he doesn’t get what he wants by whining or crying. We are also working on teaching him to say “May I have some ________ please” instead of “WANT ______!” Given our trials with sleep training him (twice), we are now experienced hard asses and will not give in under any circumstances. This has led to numerous timeouts, which are always a nice way to start the day.

Sometimes the thing he says he wants is me, but even when I’m right beside him he is still crying and kicking, usually for the next item in the long line of demands. The endless string of “MUMMYMUMMYMUMMYMUMMYMUMMYMUMMY!” is slowly driving me to drink and I feel 6am is just too early to start drinking, even if it is 5 o’clock somewhere.

This is where the bathroom comes in. Perhaps not the most mature of tactics, but one morning at the brink of insanity, I vaulted out of bed and into the ensuite, locking the door behind me. The first time I did it, I was faced with a “Now what?” realization. It’s not like I was ensconced in a soundproof oasis of calm. I could still very clearly hear him screaming on the other side of the door. I turned on the fan and had a shower, but nothing could drown him out. (I can only imagine what Mr. Awesome must have been going through, pretending to sleep 5 feet away.) I opened the door and agreed to come out when, and only when, the little man stopped crying. Miraculously, he did indeed stop.

I have had to return to my hiding place only once again, but this time I went prepared with netbook in hand. The next time we remodel a bathroom, I will definitely consider installing a TV. Or at the very least, an escape hatch.