Why can’t I write a blog post? Why has it been four weeks since my last entry?
I started this blog as a place to share, to vent, to motivate (myself and others), to inspire, to confess…to be open and honest in a safe, albeit public, place. Even though it’s a safe space, I’ve always tried to write posts that will connect for my readers, sharing my insights or challenges in the hopes that someone will say “I totally get that.”
I feel stalled. I am still working through the challenges of maintaining my goal weight, the little man is STILL dropping pants bombs ever single day with no signs of progress after a year and a half…I feel like I have nothing new to report and don’t want to burden my readers with the same old topics.
I’m feeling stalled personally, professionally, and I hate this feeling. I have always been one to look forward, on to the next project, the next goal. This is probably not a terribly productive or healthy way to be, as I am not very good at just being present in the moment, but I’m working on it. I LOVE new projects, big or small. I start to get antsy if one is coming to an end, and I very quickly fill the void with a new plan. Maybe my new project should be to live without a project, to just BE…
Um, no. I just don’t think I can do that for very long.
The project of potty training the little man has been dragging on for a year and a half and I’m frankly done with it. There is no real progress…well, that’s not entirely true. There is progress on the pee front. We’re working really hard to empower him to do things for himself – get undressed, brush his teeth, go pee on his own, etc. He’s never been big on independence, usually giving a half-hearted effort and then saying “I need help.” This morning he got up, went pee, then proceeded to brush his teeth and wash his hands all before coming in to find me. That’s big progress, and it was pretty exciting even at 5:45am. But the poo thing is the same as it ever was, with a grenade (if we’re lucky) appearing at least once a day. He disappears into his room to play and then we go in and check on him and are greeted with a wall of stink as we open the door. Every. Single. Day.
One of my current projects is my garden, and it’s one project where I can see daily progress and growth – literally. I didn’t start this page as a gardening blog, and other than a few rants about my beloved lawn, I don’t want to bore you with the daily millimetric growth of my veggies. Maybe just one photo…or two. That’s it, I swear.
|Shortly after it was planted. Mr. Awesome built me this fantastic raised bed.|
|Now check out my peas!|
Okay, enough about my garden, for now. This isn’t a gardening blog, it isn’t a cooking blog, it isn’t even just a mommy blog or a weight loss blog. It’s a blog about my life and I don’t like admitting when things aren’t going perfectly. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my life and everyone in it more than I can even express, I’m just feeling…STALLED. Things at work aren’t how I would ideally like them to be, which is a whole other blog post that I will never write. I can’t find as much time to work out as I would like. My body isn’t feeling as tight as it did at its best – I’m still maintaining the pounds, just not the feeling. We’ll be potty training until the little man gets married and it becomes someone else’s problem. Because you KNOW that’s a huge selling feature on the dating scene…
This is why I haven’t written in so long. I haven’t wanted to bore you with my petty grievances. I already bore my friends to the point that they probably wince when they see me coming (I HOPE I am exaggerating), so I don’t want to drive you away too.
So, I will endeavour to just get over myself. Life is, in fact, pretty awesome. I just need to stop once in a while and enjoy it.