A friend of mine told me once that she tries, whenever possible, to say “yes” to her children when they ask her to do something. Unless it’s unsafe or inappropriate, she does what she can to say YES.
My kids hear “no” from me thousands of times throughout the day – “Don’t do that,” “Don’t touch your sister,” “Not right now,” “No, you just ate”… I know that I say no more than I say yes. This doesn’t feel GOOD, but I don’t know how to make the shift. I’m tired, I’m trying to keep the house clean, I’m finishing up some work, there are a million reasons to say no. But only one reason to say yes – my kids. The thought that they might look back and think of me as someone who ONLY said no…that absolutely devastates me.
I’m not going to master this in a day, but I want to be more of a “yes-man” at home. If they ask me to read a book, if they ask me to play a game, if they ask me to colour a picture, I am going to do my best to say yes. I likely won’t do it if they’re asking so they can avoid homework or bedtime, because they’re tricky monkeys and will take a mile if they get an inch!
I was talking to another friend of mine about this and she has a great way of managing yes. If her kids ask her for something, let’s say chocolate cake after dinner, she responds with “Absolutely…next Friday!” She has said yes to their request but not in THEIR timeframe, in hers. Genius!
I have tried it a few times here and there in the last couple of weeks and I have to say, the times I did say yes left me feeling lighter, the kids were delighted and the day went better. Who WOULDN’T want that outcome all the time?!
What do you think? Are you a yes-mom or a no-mom? Want to join me in embracing the power of YES?